It started as a hole, nothing too large, nothing too small. A mere hole it was, not even he who dwelt there knew how it was made; only that one day there wasn’t a hole, and the next day there was. Then the hole grew. It could not be filled. its growth could not be stilled. It grew wider and rounder and bigger and deeper. Then it one day it ceased to be a hole, it had grown out of that label. Now it was a chasm, so wide and deep that one couldn’t think of anything to do with it. The chasm grew greater and wider and bigger and deeper. No one could cross it, by bridge, or by plane. Then one day, the chasm grew so large that it ceased to be a chasm and it became a rift. It wasn’t a small rift, nor was it insignificant. IT was a rift in the very being of the area it was, until one day, it started to affect everything around it. The sole man that dwelt there had to move as the rift grew. He had to move and move until one day he could move no more. Stuck to his island he was surrounded by the great maw that had changed the landscape surrounding him. The rift nearly destroyed the place it was on, and sooner or later it will. It grew and grew and grew, swallowing everything up, not a trace to be seen of what it has taken. The man waits on his island, waiting for the inevitable moment when the rift will grow once more and then never grow again.
BLARGH! havent done anything here. Pittsburgh is freaking cold, and there isnt enough snow! its bullcrap!
Believe it or not, that monstrously bloated Chevrolet Camaro in the picture above has been built for a children’s movie; an animated, children’s movie.
Despite sporting a front setup that looks like its pint has just been spilled all over its face, the mad Chevy is a promotional tool for an upcoming DreamWorks movie called Turbo. It follows the adventures of a snail who dreams of becoming a racing driver. Geddit? A snail! As a racing driver!
Adorable premise, you’ll agree. Sadly, the underlying premise of this Camaro - which we’re assured is “instrumental in transforming him [the snail] into a racer” - is anything but adorable. If you look closely, you’ll spot the ‘ZL1’ badges, indicating this thing sports a 6.2-litre supercharged V8; the same V8 that sits inside a Corvette ZR1.
there is so much to say and do, but it only lets it in, never lets it out. and you dont know the consequences of your actions either, will you learn the stronger your grip the more slips away?
Here I am.
Here I am, a child, a cook, a boy, a human, a being, a student, a man of many things.
Here I am, in a new city, new school, new world, new haven, new frontier.
Here I am, to do what i have always done, what i always did.
Here I am, to bring joy, to learn, to help others, to live my life for others and for good, whatever that may be.
Here I am, to live for others and a cause greater than I, for what is the point of life to live for nothing? What is the point to live only for oneself? What is the point to live and take from this world and leave nothing behind? What is the point to live and do nothing great, nothing good, nothing WORTHWHILE? What is the point to live, and be selfish and not search for happiness? What is the point to live and never help, to be one who takes and is shunned? What is the point in that?
I choose not to live like that. I choose to live and make something of myself. To live and help others. To live and give back when I can. To live and enjoy this world as much as others enjoy me, however much that may be. I choose not to forget those I have known, I have not left them behind where they may be, i go forward and hope to go to them again, and if not, then to at least keep in touch with them for they are a part of my past and helped shape who I am in a number of ways.
I choose to go forward and show the new people I have met that the goofball they have recently befriended is more than what I may seem. I have much left to show them going forward unto eternity. I am always here, for those from the past, and for those going forward.
I have chosen to do these things, what do you choose to do?
im here, in a city i barely know, in a bit of a rut thats fixing to be overcome by me. im not ready for the next years at all, and yet, im more ready than i ever could be. im sure its because of the big guy upstairs, but i am who i am and ive been helped by so many and will be helped. ive already got a few friends here, what happens next i know not, but i know ill be who i am and ill do what ill always do, whether they and everyone else knows it or not. im the guy thats always there doin some crazy good stuff. thats me, all day everyday. get ready pittsburgh
i cant believe it. 5 years and it happened. i couldnt hold it back, through it all, it happened and i knew that i was ok. i just, i couldnt believe it. this hadnt happened in so long i almost forgot what it felt like, but when it happened, i knew that it was ok, that everyone did it and would do it and that there wasnt anything wrong with it. in 5 years, i cried again. i couldnt hold back the tears, they came for about 5 seconds, but afterwards, i knew that i could still feel it all. ill be happy when i see everyone again, and make memories and have fun with them come november, but till then, ill miss them. ill miss ALL of them :’)
sometimes, i just want to visit my mind. id like to visit every little bit of my psyche and look at every little detail, every minuscule thing and then, after ive done all that, after ive gone and traveled every nook and cranny and just EXPLORED what makes me, me, after ive gone and seen EVERYTHING in my head (all the details, the thoughts, the memories, every tiny item that runs through my mind!) i want to go through and deal with all of it. by deal with it, i mean id go through and befriend all of the things that i love about me, all of the good and positive things while i go through and battle each personal demon i have (and dont dare think im crazy, every single one of us has/have something[s] that bother, more or less a demon for each of us). and i dont mean it would be a little “meh” trip into my mind, i mean an epic crusade into my psyche to get rid of all those things and to go and have it just be an epic when all is said and done. when i finish id quietly go back to my normal life, and be a better carefree person. after all would be said and done, id be a better person and everything would be better.
the problem with all of that is that goes against one of the most important things ive ever learned in my life. in the media, all we freaking see is someone with a problem and the whole world stops until that problem is solved. the problem with that is that in reality that NEVER happens, the lesson here is that when it hits the fan, when everything under the sun is in shambles and has been utterly roughed up beyond all comprehension, life goes on. nothing stops for you save those who really care. the problem with the above paragraph is that the events described above are the basically the plot of a movie; albeit a really good if it were done right (maybe i should right a book >:}). my point here is that, this is just me letting some stuff out. i know that this post, in all reality, means nothing. i have the knowledge and the tools to handle this, and im using one of those tools. if you know me well enough, you can probably find a really good metaphor in all this considering the timing, you should have an idea of where im coming from. thing is, this is nothing, its all nothing in honesty and reality. im fine, life goes on, and i know it, so im moving forward, but not keeping everything with me.
i became what i thought i wouldnt be, ive begun to do some things i thought i wouldnt do, like writing a frikkin blog! i also thought i wouldnt be hit too hard by my leaving, i thought i would be able to sequester this like ive been able to do everything. it hasnt happened. O>O ive become someone who cares A LOT. i never thought i would, ive seen that the lackadaisical attitude helped, but i lost that touch i had. ive become what i thought i would never be,but i see now that that was never the case
Let it begin, the loss and ache thereafter
Let it begin, the memories remembered and relived
Let it begin, the journey onward to a new place
Let it begin, all that i leave to remember me
Let it begin, all that i left will continue flourish
Let it begin, that when i return we will all relive the memories and make ones anew.
10: What you’re wearing: …give me a sec… im wearing a pair of cargo pants like my usual, but its hot in mah house… so… that may or may not be it.
16: Turn ons: …really? of all the things to ask you choose this? O.o what do YOU think of about m!? :D
…anywhoo those, ahem, things would be intelligence, cuteness (in every way possible, you can be cute on the inside), and thats about it. youll never know EVERYTHING!
26: How many followers i have: O.o
oh haha! i only have 1, mainly because ive been keeping mah tumblr quiet
29: Cutest thing anyone has ever done for me: i dont know, theres many things that i could put, but the cutest? i dunno, recently this one person got me these beast cookie cakes and the words spelt in the icing were great. id say that would be the cutest thing i can think of right now ^-^
this word means whatever you want it to mean. when viewed under the context “am i enough?” this word only has as much power over you as you give it. if you let it bother you, then something is wrong. dont let this one word hold you back, though it may not be the word, it may be yourself thats keeping you back, you just use this word as a crux. if this word bothers you, dont let it. simply look at it, think about what you can do to change what you want, then go and do what you will and ignore the word so that it will no longer bother you. such trifles should not get in the way of happiness or life.
man oh man. when im in the mood for some of this, im in a weirder mood than i usually am. in a few months, i may send yall this way. its been a fun ride, but im not going to say see ya later yet, ive still got a few weeks left, and i need to make them some great ones. but to my friends, you guys may see another bit of me tat you didnt know existred. im full of surprises, and this will be another one to yall. maybe when im in pittsburgh, but i doubt it. ill let yall wait. have fun reading these, when yall do. ill try not to clutter this up so its easier to read all of these, but till then, wait and see :)
that was a mistake, it was unfinished, sorry bout that, and i knew, but trust me, theres a lot you dont know about me, perhaps you may never know all of it. but what i say has more than just the meaning on the surface, and i didnt mean it in that way, hope it doesn bother you, lol, but sorry about that. some of the things ill have here, are meant for many people, you included. sometimes. dont let shtuff get weird and lets forget about this, as we do with hiccups and mishaps :)
but theres a few things ill be leaving on here because i know that eventually, others will find this. it may answer some questions for them, and it may be something that theyll need later. but that was just as much for you as for others, LOL. now, anymore questions? :)